Friday, December 03, 2010

It is daunting to come back to blogging after letting time slip away. Do I recap every event? Move on and pretend like I wasn't away? Who knows. Just going to write, see what happens.

The last two weeks before my birthday were pretty symbolic of my last year. Amazing highs... including the awesome marathon and all the support I received from friends and loved ones, four fantastic Thanksgiving dinners that reflected all the different "groups" we are fortunate enough to be associated with, a lovely birthday day spent with my men, Trent and Pilot out hiking in nature and then boogie-ing down until the wee hours of the morning with good friends.

And some pretty rough lows... most prominently the passing of my best friend's mother. Suddenly and all too soon, she lost her fight against cervical cancer. I spent a lot of time on the phone with my friend, but couldn't find the words to say to make it better. I felt like a failure, here I am, a cancer biologist... giving fruit flies tumors. I felt stifled by this never-ending degree I am chasing, terribly homesick being so far away, and just down.

But also, like this year in general, I found my way back to the surface. I leaned hard on some good friends (especially Amanda and the lovely ladies of our first Thanksgiving, Becca, Sheila and Rebecca). I threw myself into cooking for my friends and helping co-host a bachelorette party to much success. I ran a lot. I did a lot of yoga. I worked like a mad man on this paper, being SO close to being done with it and so ready to move on to the next chapter. And I started, as I have noticed I tend to do in response to trying times, to make big life decisions. Including pretty conclusively deciding on my post-doc lab. I am a little hesitant to discuss it right now, as it is a fairly big leap and I don't want to jinx myself, but it feels amazingly right (SO many thanks to my friend Calen for making me think about what I would want to do if I could do ANYTHING... and then going for it). And on Saturday night, moments before heading into the bar to dance my birthday night away, I got to tell these plans to my best friend. And I felt like I finally was doing something to help.

But through it all, as always, I had Trent. Despite being insanely busy (I have no idea how he is managing these days), he was there for me. I am quite an extrovert and get energized by being surrounded by people and crowds. Therefore, I often feel that he doesn't get the best of me. It is after the party is over, after the friends have left, that I tend to fall apart. And that's when he is there for me. To talk, to just sit and be sad, to go on long runs with me... he's always there. I am so fortunate.

So here's to my 28th year. May it be slightly more even keeled than last year, please? I am finished tacking and ready for a broad reach.

1 comment:

MrsEm said...

Happy birthday again, little sister! Now, spill the beans on this post-doc. Where, where, where!?